It all started February 15, 2013. That was the day that I had apparently become an expert on dating. After only having a boyfriend for a few weeks. But I did know a little, and I taught what I knew. I have however gained a bit more knowledge, and would like to impart it to you now. My methods do not guarantee results, even for myself so be wary on your journey of getting the guy.
PART ONE: EXISTENCE
A key factor in any relationship is to be sure you are on the same page, for now that page is planet earth.
A key factor in any relationship is to be sure you are on the same page, for now that page is planet earth.
1. Does this person know you exist? MAKE SURE!
This may be you!
2. Once you are sure that you are not an alien to this person DON'T do anything crazy.
Be yourself, spend some time with them casually, give them a chance to form an opinion about you.
3. So you're friends now CONGRATULATIONS! this is not a bad place to be,
really it just means that you are comfortable in each others presence, now you can start to turn up the heat.
Woooaaaahhhh, not that fast!
More like this...
PART TWO: FLIRTING
I am not even going to begin to describe my feelings on this subject. Mostly because it is subjective...
haha, you see what I did there...
So I will give you a general flirting toolset, use these at your own peril. Or don't that could be safer.
1.Say hello, often, and call them by name, you do not realize the power of a name.
2. Do not obsess over this person, show them that you are well rounded, you can have fun with others, but you would have more fun with them.
3. If activities permit sit by this person. Don't get to close though especially if there is a lot of room. Just near. If activities do not permit sit somewhere that you can see them, and they can see you, If something funny happens, glance their way, you may see sparks.
4. Touch... this can be a touchy subject (somebody stop me ;)....) This one you are on your own, touch can make or break a lot because it is so direct. You could have a flirtatious personality but when it comes to touch it is a very direct way of letting someone know you like them. The moves:
4.1- touch their arm when you talk
4.2- are you sitting by them? arm on arm or knee on knee. is usually pretty sly.
4.3- High-5's are usually pretty cool. If you are brave your hand may linger.
4.4- leave your hand where it can be held ie: on the side of your leg.
5. Smile and eyes. Smile a lot, laugh at what they say (when appropriate) When you are talking look them in the eyes.
6. Late nights, whether in person via technology, you don't stay up with someone you don't like till 3 in the morning. Also some inhibitions are gone at night, and you can really get to know a person, but be careful, if you don't absolutely trust them don't be alone.
7. Location, this can be huge when it comes to things happening or not. If you are watching a movie with 20 people it is probably less likely that you will have your hand held than with 4 people.
8. I just have to put in a plug for blankets. This is my roommates favorite move of mine, because they didn't even realize it had happened. Is it cold? get a blanket, if you are sitting by the person you like chances are the blanket will slightly cover them too, or you can share a blanket. Get comfortable, and remember most of the items listed under #4 are more likely to happen where your 20 very nosy friends can't see. But again, be careful, remember your 20 nosy friends can't see if something goes awry.
The Reactions:
1. with a few sly hints and a bit of chatting, he is interested, before long you are on a date, or holding your hand under that handy dandy blanket where your 20 friends can't see!
2. You wonder if any of the 5 senses of this individual work properly, because after some pointed hints, chatting, texting, smiling, etc. you are still just friends. He neither supports or declines anything happening.
3. You are a creeper, you have made your move too fast, and said person suddenly avoids you and stops talking to you. well done, another one bites the dust.
PART THREE: The Jobs
I have a lot of rules, but one of the most important is to do your own job. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO THE OTHER PERSONS JOB!!!
Here are the jobs:
BOYS
Make the move. Ask girls on dates. (we have to keep it pretty simple)
GIRLS
Our job is significantly harder in my humble opinion. While a boy may only need a few seconds of insane courage to ask you on a date or hold your hand, once they have made the move they are in the clear. While our job takes careful evaluation, and sly hints. So what is our job?
Let him know you are interested, if you aren't make it abundantly clear. Use the flirting toolset, it could be deadly, but it's something you need to do. Make it easy for him to make a move, but NEVER make it. Also NEVER ask a boy on a date. DO NOT OBSESS, remember "a date is a date is a date" it means a little, but not a lot.
PART FOUR: The ONLY Thing That Matters.
If you only read one statement in this post let it be this, that there is only one thing that really matters.
BE YOURSELF
It doesn't matter if you get the date, or a hand held, or a boyfriend UNLESS you are completely honest. Nothing can be built upon lies and survive. If your personalities just don't mesh... it's okay. If you hate the way you laugh... he may love it. Do not ever hide who you are. Of course you also do not want to scare anyone away. Be conservative, and leave a little to mystery at the beginnings of a relationship, that's what makes it fun!
PART FIVE: When He Asks
Let's face it, you are AMAZING, and some guy is gonna really like you. So he gets up the guts and asks you on a date.
First, I know your heart is going about 500 beats per second, but remember His is too, and He needs an answer or He may need medical attention. STAT. So give your answer.
Answer Options:
(or various other forms)
No. (there are few cases that I will give a no, I'll explain)
There are NO other answers, either you want to go or not. If you have other obligations for the time mentioned then change the time perhaps you would say "I would love to, but I have to work Friday, could we go out Saturday instead?"
DO NOT lead someone on, and DO NOT try to save their feelings.
When you have to say no:
There are 2 cases in which I would say no.
1. Safety. Would you feel comfortable alone with this person. If you wouldn't then you may want to say no.
(keeping pepper spray on hand is always a good idea too!)
2. The Never Ever Ever's: This is a sad case where you have heavily analyzed the situation and determined that you could never ever ever date the person. This is more out of politeness that you do not want them wasting their time on money on something that can never be. This also usually involves a case of the 'heebee jeebee's', which are real, and should be trusted.
Keep in mind if you ever give a 'no' then you will most likely never get a second chance.
Saying 'yes' to the 'never ever ever's'. I will do this especially if it's a friend, you still want to refrain from leading them on, but you can have an enjoyable night with someone that you are never going to be with. If you don't have the "heebee jeebee's" with a Never ever ever, then you should probably say yes.
PART SIX: The Nitty Gritty's; and other bits of wisdom
There are a lot of things I have learnt, or heard of when it comes to getting the guy, here are some of the most important, or comedic.
SPARKS!!!
If there is any skepticized subject of dating or relationships that I believe in it is SPARKS. They exist people, do not deny it.
Now granted I will not give them as much credit as movies or TV shows do, but they deserve to be acknowledged. So here is my wisdom on sparks:
1.You cannot make sparks happen, and they do not happen with just anyone. You can however increase the frequency of sparks by your actions.
2. There is a base chemistry between humans, some people are not meant to be, accept it and move on.
3.You can have sparks with more than one person.
4. Sparks do not mean that you are meant to be, or that the other likes you. As far as I concern myself all sparks mean is that you are compatible on a base level of personality.
The 3 point rule
No, I do not play entirely off of the 3 point rule, but it is a pretty good way to standardize your flirting. Some people do not want to tell you no, so they will try to ignore instead. Don't waste your time on someone who is not willing to reciprocate.
Love corner
This is just funny, I really don't think it has anything to do with dating, or getting a guy though... except please don't expect to find love at the corner of "patience and understanding". (even though those are important)
FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM
I have thought a lot about what I want my final words in this post to be, but I think when it comes down to it all you can do is RELAX. Be yourself, have fun, don't analyze every little thing, enjoy being single and free, don't plan every move -roll with the punches, RELAX, and then...when something does happen:
I am not even going to begin to describe my feelings on this subject. Mostly because it is subjective...
haha, you see what I did there...
So I will give you a general flirting toolset, use these at your own peril. Or don't that could be safer.
1.Say hello, often, and call them by name, you do not realize the power of a name.
2. Do not obsess over this person, show them that you are well rounded, you can have fun with others, but you would have more fun with them.
3. If activities permit sit by this person. Don't get to close though especially if there is a lot of room. Just near. If activities do not permit sit somewhere that you can see them, and they can see you, If something funny happens, glance their way, you may see sparks.
4. Touch... this can be a touchy subject (somebody stop me ;)....) This one you are on your own, touch can make or break a lot because it is so direct. You could have a flirtatious personality but when it comes to touch it is a very direct way of letting someone know you like them. The moves:
4.1- touch their arm when you talk
4.2- are you sitting by them? arm on arm or knee on knee. is usually pretty sly.
4.3- High-5's are usually pretty cool. If you are brave your hand may linger.
4.4- leave your hand where it can be held ie: on the side of your leg.
5. Smile and eyes. Smile a lot, laugh at what they say (when appropriate) When you are talking look them in the eyes.
6. Late nights, whether in person via technology, you don't stay up with someone you don't like till 3 in the morning. Also some inhibitions are gone at night, and you can really get to know a person, but be careful, if you don't absolutely trust them don't be alone.
7. Location, this can be huge when it comes to things happening or not. If you are watching a movie with 20 people it is probably less likely that you will have your hand held than with 4 people.
8. I just have to put in a plug for blankets. This is my roommates favorite move of mine, because they didn't even realize it had happened. Is it cold? get a blanket, if you are sitting by the person you like chances are the blanket will slightly cover them too, or you can share a blanket. Get comfortable, and remember most of the items listed under #4 are more likely to happen where your 20 very nosy friends can't see. But again, be careful, remember your 20 nosy friends can't see if something goes awry.
The Reactions:
1. with a few sly hints and a bit of chatting, he is interested, before long you are on a date, or holding your hand under that handy dandy blanket where your 20 friends can't see!
2. You wonder if any of the 5 senses of this individual work properly, because after some pointed hints, chatting, texting, smiling, etc. you are still just friends. He neither supports or declines anything happening.
3. You are a creeper, you have made your move too fast, and said person suddenly avoids you and stops talking to you. well done, another one bites the dust.
PART THREE: The Jobs
I have a lot of rules, but one of the most important is to do your own job. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES DO THE OTHER PERSONS JOB!!!
Here are the jobs:
BOYS
Make the move. Ask girls on dates. (we have to keep it pretty simple)
GIRLS
Our job is significantly harder in my humble opinion. While a boy may only need a few seconds of insane courage to ask you on a date or hold your hand, once they have made the move they are in the clear. While our job takes careful evaluation, and sly hints. So what is our job?
Let him know you are interested, if you aren't make it abundantly clear. Use the flirting toolset, it could be deadly, but it's something you need to do. Make it easy for him to make a move, but NEVER make it. Also NEVER ask a boy on a date. DO NOT OBSESS, remember "a date is a date is a date" it means a little, but not a lot.
PART FOUR: The ONLY Thing That Matters.
If you only read one statement in this post let it be this, that there is only one thing that really matters.
BE YOURSELF
It doesn't matter if you get the date, or a hand held, or a boyfriend UNLESS you are completely honest. Nothing can be built upon lies and survive. If your personalities just don't mesh... it's okay. If you hate the way you laugh... he may love it. Do not ever hide who you are. Of course you also do not want to scare anyone away. Be conservative, and leave a little to mystery at the beginnings of a relationship, that's what makes it fun!
PART FIVE: When He Asks
Let's face it, you are AMAZING, and some guy is gonna really like you. So he gets up the guts and asks you on a date.
First, I know your heart is going about 500 beats per second, but remember His is too, and He needs an answer or He may need medical attention. STAT. So give your answer.
Answer Options:
(or various other forms)
No. (there are few cases that I will give a no, I'll explain)
There are NO other answers, either you want to go or not. If you have other obligations for the time mentioned then change the time perhaps you would say "I would love to, but I have to work Friday, could we go out Saturday instead?"
DO NOT lead someone on, and DO NOT try to save their feelings.
When you have to say no:
There are 2 cases in which I would say no.
1. Safety. Would you feel comfortable alone with this person. If you wouldn't then you may want to say no.
(keeping pepper spray on hand is always a good idea too!)
2. The Never Ever Ever's: This is a sad case where you have heavily analyzed the situation and determined that you could never ever ever date the person. This is more out of politeness that you do not want them wasting their time on money on something that can never be. This also usually involves a case of the 'heebee jeebee's', which are real, and should be trusted.
Keep in mind if you ever give a 'no' then you will most likely never get a second chance.
Saying 'yes' to the 'never ever ever's'. I will do this especially if it's a friend, you still want to refrain from leading them on, but you can have an enjoyable night with someone that you are never going to be with. If you don't have the "heebee jeebee's" with a Never ever ever, then you should probably say yes.
PART SIX: The Nitty Gritty's; and other bits of wisdom
There are a lot of things I have learnt, or heard of when it comes to getting the guy, here are some of the most important, or comedic.
SPARKS!!!
If there is any skepticized subject of dating or relationships that I believe in it is SPARKS. They exist people, do not deny it.
Now granted I will not give them as much credit as movies or TV shows do, but they deserve to be acknowledged. So here is my wisdom on sparks:
1.You cannot make sparks happen, and they do not happen with just anyone. You can however increase the frequency of sparks by your actions.
2. There is a base chemistry between humans, some people are not meant to be, accept it and move on.
3.You can have sparks with more than one person.
4. Sparks do not mean that you are meant to be, or that the other likes you. As far as I concern myself all sparks mean is that you are compatible on a base level of personality.
The 3 point rule
No, I do not play entirely off of the 3 point rule, but it is a pretty good way to standardize your flirting. Some people do not want to tell you no, so they will try to ignore instead. Don't waste your time on someone who is not willing to reciprocate.
Love corner
This is just funny, I really don't think it has anything to do with dating, or getting a guy though... except please don't expect to find love at the corner of "patience and understanding". (even though those are important)
FINAL WORDS OF WISDOM
I have thought a lot about what I want my final words in this post to be, but I think when it comes down to it all you can do is RELAX. Be yourself, have fun, don't analyze every little thing, enjoy being single and free, don't plan every move -roll with the punches, RELAX, and then...when something does happen:
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